There are many things I like about this cover letter example for a Human Resources job. I also have some thoughts about how to make it better. Take a look at the letter that Liz wrote, then see my version, which has a few changes.
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Liz's First Cover Letter for a Human Resources Job
I am a young lady with a Bachelor degree of Commerce (B.Com – Human Resources) at the University of ** having graduated last spring. I am applying for the position of HR Administrator/Payroll Accountant. Currently I am working with ** as an Assistant Human Resources Officer.Taking initiatives has always been my academic and career focus. I certainly understand responsibility, hold an intense work ethic, possess social skills that can build and maintain relations across and beyond the organization and strive to do my best in any situation to meet corporate objectives.I believe my strength, abilities and skills make me a perfect fit for this job. I am extremely reliable, considerate, personable, and I am comfortable working with all personality types.Thank you for taking the time to review my credentials. I would welcome the opportunity to discuss how my education, practical skills, and background qualify me to be a member of your company.
Please give me a call at 555-555-5555 and/or email me at XX.
My Thoughts About Liz's Sample Cover Letter
What I like best about Liz's cover letter is that it's short and has a natural flow. I feel like I sort of know her after reading it. That’s really nice!
Without going into a lot of detail, here are a few things that I think would improve this cover letter.
- The opening sentence needs a little help. “I am a young lady” sounds old-fashioned and out of place here. I suggest deleting that phrase and reworking the sentence to make a smoother entrance to the rest of the letter.
- The second paragraph has good stuff in it. I think it would be great to break it into bullet points with a short intro sentence at the beginning.
- Don't say that you’re a "perfect fit" for the job. Let them decide that. You could say you’re an "excellent candidate" for the job. It’s a little more humble, yet still confident (in my way of thinking).
Here's what Liz's letter might look like with these suggestions implemented.
Improved Version of Liz's Cover Letter
Having recently earned my Bachelor degree of Commerce (B.Com – Human Resources) at the University of **, I would like to apply for the position of HR Administrator/Payroll Accountant at your firm. Currently I am working with ** as an Assistant Human Resources Officer.Taking initiative has always been my academic and career strength, along with:
- Understanding responsibility.
- Holding an intense work ethic.
- Possessing social skills that build and maintain relations across and beyond the organization.
- Striving to do my best in any situation to meet corporate objectives.
I believe my strengths, abilities and skills make me an excellent candidate for this job. I am extremely reliable, considerate, personable, and I am comfortable working with all personality types.
Thank you for taking the time to review my credentials. I would welcome the opportunity to discuss how my education, practical skills, and background qualify me to be a member of your company.
Please give me a call at 555-555-5555 and/or email me at XX.
Other Cover Letter Samples
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HR generalist cover letter
View this sample cover letter for an HR generalist, or download the HR generalist cover letter template in Word.
As an HR generalist, you know what it takes for a candidate to get the job—and having a solid cover letter is a big advantage. To be considered for top HR generalist jobs, your cover letter must demonstrate your skills and experience, as well as your passion for working with people. For writing tips, view this sample cover letter for an HR generalist, or download the HR generalist cover letter template in Word.
Additionally, you can look for HR generalist jobs on Monster.
HR generalist cover letter template
Sometown, IA 55555 | Phone: (555) 555-5555 | Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Human Resources Generalist
Develop and support HR solutions that impact all levels of the organization
November 8, 2017
Ms. Janet Dixon
55 West Ave.
Sometown, IA 55555
Re: HR Generalist t Advertised on Monster
Dear Ms. Dixon:
As you know, a day in the life of an HR generalist is multifaceted. We can go from managing full-cycle recruitment of talented team members to investigating FMLA or EEO compliance matters within the span of an hour. While confident in my skills across multiple HR practice areas, the driving force is my desire to elevate the performance and job satisfaction of our most valuable asset—the employees.
I’ve spent the past six years working in the HR Department of DEF Company’s corporate headquarters in support of the 1,500-member global engineering group. After initial success as an HR assistant, I was promoted to my current HR generalist role.
My passion for people—combined with an understanding of HR best practices—has contributed to numerous HR initiatives delivering exceptional results. For example, my team and I:
- Increased the employee satisfaction index 16% by spearheading a “Flexible Work Solutions” employment program (a first within the company). This innovative program promotes non-traditional work schedules, work-at-home options and job-sharing partnerships.
- Created an ongoing training program on HR policies and SOPs that strengthened compliance, boosted morale and improved recordkeeping.
- Conceptualized, launched and staffed DEF Sales, a new department that provided needed sales and marketing support to field workers.
Backed by a BBA in human resources, I’m committed to helping companies create winning work cultures and top-performing teams. I take pride in providing value-adding advisory and support services to my employers, and strive to serve as a catalyst for continuous improvement.
Please contact me at (555) 555-5555 or email email@example.com to set up a meeting. Thank you.