The following is an example of a high-scoring essay response to our free practice GED Essay Prompt. Below our GED sample essay is a brief analysis justifying its perfect score.
The issue of how the police should interact with communities is a very hot-button topic. Some believe that criticizing the actions of the police hurts their ability to do their job, while others argue that the police have overstepped their authority and often cause more harm than good. Both arguments presented address this issue head on; however, it is the argument against the militarization of the police published by the ACLU that is the best supported and ultimately the most convincing argument.
While the second argument lacks specific statistics, or numerical data, the ACLU’s argument informs the reader that there were 80,000 military raids by police last year. Such an extraordinary figure surprises the reader and supports the idea that perhaps military-style raids have become too commonplace in society. The essay successfully uses statistics again when it cites a recent report stating, “of all the incidents studied where the number and race of the people impacted were known, 39 percent were Black, 11 percent were Latino, 20 were white.” This supports the idea that the militarization of police has had a disproportionately negative impact on African-American communities — further adding to the thesis that overall, the militarization of the police is detrimental to society.
Another reason why the ACLU’s argument is better supported than Mr. Hagner’s argument is because it addresses the idea of possible ethical corruption — an idea that Hagner’s essay ignores. The ACLU states, “Companies like Lockheed Martin and Blackhawk Industries are making record profits by selling their equipment to local police departments that have received Department of Homeland Security grants.” Here the ACLU implies that the reason for the militarization is simply profit; if this is true, then there is perhaps no actual real-world need for the militarization of the police at all. Ethically, companies are simply looking to make money from the police, rather than helping them to do their job.
Finally, the ACLU’s argument is much more convincing than Mr. Hagner’s argument because it uses much more impactful diction. The forcefulness of the language here, for example, when the ACLU calls the drug war “wasteful and failed” highlights the high-stakes nature of this issue. It appeals to the emotions of the reader, who is most likely a tax-payer and someone who has a vested interest in not having their money wasted by the government. The tone of this essay is much more impassioned than the tone of the second, and it helps to draw the reader in and engage them on an emotional level. The author implies that the reader may not be safe, since “heavily armed SWAT teams are raiding people’s homes in the middle of the night.”
In summary, the ACLU’s argument is better supported by statistics and data, accusations of ethical corruption, and forceful language that engages the reader. Mr. Hagner’s argument has some merit, and it does a good job organizing points with a numbered list, but ultimately it is too dry in tone and does not include any data or quotes from authority figures to back up its claims. The ACLU’s argument winds up being more convincing: the militarization of police is something we should all be concerned about.
Sample Essay Analysis
This essay is very well-organized. It uses 5 paragraphs and lays out the structure in the following manner:
- Paragraph 1 — Introduction (why the ACLU position is better-supported)
- Paragraph 2 — Reason #1 — Statistics (two examples given from passage)
- Paragraph 3 — Reason #2 — Ethics (one example given from passage)
- Paragraph 4 — Reason #3 — Vocabulary (two examples given from passage)
- Paragraph 5 — Conclusion
In the introduction, the author thoughtfully introduces the topic of police militarization and explains why it is relevant to today’s society. Both arguments are introduced, and the thesis is clearly placed at the bottom of the paragraph so it is easy for the reader to find. The thesis clearly states which argument the author believes is better supported; the language is confident.
Each of the next three body paragraphs is well organized. Each paragraph starts with a transition word or phrase and includes one example that supports the thesis. The body paragraphs cite specific examples from the passage, and then explain how those examples support the important point. The author uses three difference examples: statistics, ethics, and vocabulary, to prove why the ACLU’s argument is better supported. These examples are different from one another and show that the author understands what makes an argument weak or strong.
Finally, the concluding paragraph makes a minor concession to the opposing side, praising the numbered list that appears therein, before reiterating and restating the thesis from the Introduction.
The essay avoids any grammar or spelling errors and the sentence structure is clear and varied with the appropriate usage of commas and other punctuation. Clear command of the English language is demonstrated. As a result, this essay would earn a perfect score.
GED Practice Questions >>
Follow these tips how to write a GED® test, TASC, or HiSET essay. These tips are part of our online HiSET-TASC-GED video classes and they are designed to help you to pass the HSE (High School Equivalency) exam.
You will have no more than 45 minutes to create your essay on a given topic or question, and you can use 200 to 400 words.
Your essay needs to be a story that reveals your thoughts and opinions on the given subject. People who will assess your essay will determine if you possess good writing skills in English, and whether you can actually arrange and sustain your thoughts in a clear way. And here you can read also about GED courses.
When reading the essay subject, you really should take the time to pull together your thoughts. By concentrated thinking and arranging your ideas rationally, you will be able to express your thoughts far better on paper. When you start writing, concentrate on the guidelines that you came to understand in English class.
You need to write full sentences, you must use the right punctuation and capitalization, and decide on suitable word solutions. A good illustration of a GED/HiSET/TASC test preparation question might be: What exactly is the best way to spend a day off for you?
When you start writing an HSE essay, you ought to adhere to a five-paragraph framework. First, you write your introduction paragraph. The following three paragraphs form your essay’s essential program, and it is here where you sustain your discussion with information and facts. Every sustaining fact must include its own paragraph, and if you have many more arguments, try to bring them together in just a few groups of points.
Your essay ends with your conclusion. Generally speaking, you should write each paragraph in this way that it contains no less than three sentences.
In the introduction part, you state your viewpoint on the presented subject. You do not have to include each and every reason why you believe this way, but you should provide an idea of the facts or arguments that you will make use of to support your assertion in the main section of your essay. To grab reader attention is a good idea to start the first sentence by re-expressing the subject.
I’ll give you an example: “Enjoying the beautiful day with my brother building up sandcastles and eating ice cream is going to be the best way to spending my day off.” Right after this sentence, produce three lines that will support your viewpoint, and lastly come up with a transition sentence that directs the reader to the main part of your essay.
An illustration of a transition sentence might be: “As an example, I could get started in the morning with strawberry pancakes, and by dusk, I will be washing out the beach sand from my feet.” This transition sentence includes that in the main body of your essay you are going to outline all the activities that you enjoyed from sunrise to sunset.
In order to take care of the flow of your essay, use the first paragraph to develop the first notion pointed out in your introduction. Begin this first paragraph with a subject sentence that explains why you decided on your position and consequently give certain illustrations and facts that support your thoughts. When writing the GED essay exam, it is perfectly okay to use personal experiences to support your thoughts and opinions.
With regard to a subject like “how to spend a day off”, supplying vibrant information helps very well in making your essay alive. Following this explanation, you should write a new transition sentence to direct your readers to the next paragraph of your essay. You must repeat this set up two more times.
This is the final paragraph, and here you need to summarize all your thoughts. This conclusion paragraph will offer your readers a recap of your specific subject matter and a review your sustaining information and facts. Try to write this last paragraph in the same way as your introduction paragraph.
Start off with an additional sentence that grabs the attention of your readers, and reminds your readers of your topic sentence. After that, you should write a short overview of your key points (the three main paragraphs), and you will need to end with a closing sentence that concludes your complete essay.
By the time you completed writing your essay, you should go back to the beginning and read your essay carefully again, as you quite easily could have forgotten a comma or have misspelled a word while writing your essay. While rereading your essay, pay close attention to whether your essay provides well-targeted points, is organized in a clear manner, presents specific information and facts and comes with proper sentence construction, and has no grammar or spelling mistakes.
Follow these guidelines and you can successfully take the TASC-HiSET-GED essay exam, check also other articles about online HSE programs, and use our online GED-HiSET-TASC classes to get all set.